all i can say really is WOW. like thingy said, grammar and spellings, thats about all I can see wrong.

I have one idea tho lol, on the first bit at 30 secs, maybe u could mess with the timings so the nade goes off at the same time as the music beat (dunno if u know waht i mean)

lol ok dunno y but sam said to post my xfire on here, so here it is... snipertj

Edit: oh yeah i remember why now, he said some cool movies or something lol, well, send the link :p